My 2 Lads and Me

Lately my kids (age 8 & 10) are getting to sound more like adults. But then again, sometimes they sound exactly like kids. Get a load of these 4 quick classics:

SCENE 1
Haz-Why can’t we go to (friend) Alex’s place?
Me-Look if you want the truth, we’re not going to Alex’s place because
Alex’s mum is away, and Alex’s Dad fancies me. I’m not going over there
while the Mum is away because I don’t want to be alone in the house with the Dad; it
could get embarrassing. I don’t want trouble.
Haz-(weary sigh) Yes, I knew he fancied you.
Me- Did you? How?
Haz- The way he looks and you and stuff. Some people, when they see
someone hot, they look at them a lot. Me, when I see somebody hot, I DON’T
look at them.
Me- Why’s that baby?
Haz- Well, I’m only 10 and that’s too young to be choosing a partner for
the rest of your life. I’m just not ready for a relationship yet. So I look
away.
….WHAT THE………..!???? WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO GOOD OLD GIRL GERMS’?

SCENE 2
Jumbo- Mum the best costume for this dance I’m doing at school would be a
leather jacket
Me- That sounds pretty cool
Jumbo- Leather gets a bit hot when you’re dancing though
Me-Does it honey?
Jumbo- Yes. Look, maybe you should get me a leather jacket that is, like,
100% cotton.
Me-100% cotton!
Jumbo- Yes. Just get me a leather jacket that’s about 100% cotton, or close
to it as you can get
……..JEEZ, I’M ON THE CASE NOW………..

SCENE 3
Isabella (nerdy girl) - You shouldn’t go calling people names that you don’t
understand
Jumbo - I called you a nerd. Of course I understand what a nerd is
Isabella- No, a nerd is someone who sits in front of a computer all day
Jumbo- That’s a computer nerd. I called you a nerd, which is not the same
Isabella- I don’t play on a computer all day
Jumbo- Look, a nerd is someone that has bad social skills, and likes to do
maths. They’re smart in some ways, and they’re also bad at some things, like
social skills. And that’s how you are.
………SOCK IT TO ‘EM, Jumbo……..

SCENE 4
Haz- Why are you being rested? (on sidelines at rugby match)
Liam (annoying loser kid) - (moaning) I am soooo sick
Haz- You’re not sick, you just don’t wanna play the game
Liam- I am SO sick, I have a cold.
Haz- That’s just an excuse. Jeez, I have a cold, plus gastro, plus I have
lice, plus we have worms in our family. But I can still play footy.
…….AHEM, I THINK THAT WAS TOO MUCH INFO, HAZZA………….

Howdy All!

Welcome to our world. This blog is about the life & times of a single mum (me) and my boys Jumbo 8 and Hazza 10, who are in primary school. We live in Sydney, Australia. We have fun, we have a lot of laughs, and we’re a bit crazy (well, certifiably crazy in my case - although it’s probably not too late for the kids). Being a single parent is tough and it’s sometimes hard to know how to steer this ship and steer it right. I’m sure all parents can relate to this: nobody gives you a manual when they’re born, so you’re left secretly wondering at times what on earth you’re doing, and whether at some point someone is going to point to you and say, “Ha! You’re not really an adult! You don’t know what you’re doing!!!” This is my blog about these topics and more…
Read and Enjoy, and please leave a comment