Sydney Maco

There’s something special about feeling respected by others. Being acknowledged, made to feel welcome, listened to and understood, included in conversation, etc. You know the feeling you get subconsciously when others show respect, even if it’s towards a third party. It makes the whole encounter much more pleasant when respect is shown by all parties.
The flipside of that is a sour feeling, disrespect makes others feel awkward, resentful and sometimes angry. I’m finding that there is a real problem with lack of respect, especially among the youth. It’s almost as if some younger Macos have a split personality, totally disrespectful and rebellious at home, then minutes later overly-pleasant with their friends, co-workers, etc. It’s even more dramatic when you see disrespect among the more “mature”.
It’s very unpleasant to be in the company of a husband and wife who argue, especially when the wife puts the husband down, this repeated lack of respect then makes it’s way down to their children’s behaviour. It’s almost like a disease of the personality, and it can be contagious. The best thing you can do in this situation is to just leave, take whoever is with you at the time and just leave, even if it’s just to another room.
Ironically it’s typically the disrespectful people that like to bask in respect shown by others. It’s almost like a one way street for them, always receive but seldom give. I call these people “respect hoarders”.
I encourage people to take a stand against disrespectful people. Make your feelings know, tell them not to use filthy language, not to be rude by answering their mobile phone mid-sentence, stop talking if you sense they’re not entirely listening, refuse to respond to unnecessary shouts from the distance, not to spread their germs when they’re sick, withdraw your company if you feel disrespect shown to another person.
A show of gratitude is always pleasant on the receiving end, if we help others, complement them, give them good news, etc.
Gratitude can be expressed in many different ways, calling to say a simple thank you, returning a book borrowed in person rather than telling them to pick it up next time they’re over, not telling them you hate their gift as soon as you open it, not spoiling good news by telling them you already knew, not saying you only drink “real coke” when offered Aldi Cola as a guest, etc.
In other words it’s making an effort to show your appreciation at the convenience of the other person.
We’ve all experienced having good intentions, helping someone else in good faith, only to be let down by them not thanking us, or showing any appreciation. In this situation you could model correct behaviour to that person, but the right opportunity must emerge first.
Ungrateful people typically have a history of being spoilt in some way, either too much mothering, having someone fuss over them constantly. Too much mothering can lead to overly-fussiness, insisting on cutting the crusts off, etc. Developing a self-centeredness and stubbornness later in life that’s as unyielding as buggery.
Seek to make these two words part of your vocabulary; Respect and Gratitude. In fact you will probably find that others will respect you for standing up to a disrespectful person.