Sydney Maco

What makes some people so happy, and others so miserable ? I’ve often tried to come up with an adequate explanation to this, without any luck.
Here in Australia you get to see a very wide cross section of cultures with varying degrees of affluence.
What I’ve observed in general
is the following;

- People who have recently migrated from abroad love Australia, but desperately cling onto their own culture
- “Real Australians” - Kenguri, or Australians from Anglo-Saxon extraction have Nationalistic tendencies, almost Nazi-like in extreme cases.
- First generation Australian born like myself tend to be split between being indifferent and longing for better times.

I’m primarily focused on the third group described above, and have finally come to what I feel is an adequate conclusion to something that’s been bugging me for some time.
By comparing various aspects of every day life between these groups, I’ve been able to draw some parallels, and highlight what seem like obvious differences but fundamental to life experience.

Things in our favor;
Strong family values
Respect for elders
Good Work ethic
Well mannered

Things holding us back;
Superstitious beliefs
Jealousy and Envy
Decline in Respect
Having it too easy and no incentive to leave the nest
Overly tolerant of alcohol and smoking
Looking for easy money, tax refunds, compo, lotto, etc
The Orthodox Church’s role, and our attitude towards it
Feeling we deserve more than we have
Being uncomfortable about our heritage

Migrants who have recently arrived in Australia have vivid memories of what they’ve fled from, doesn’t matter how much someone says they love their homeland, the fact is they left it behind for something better.
Us who are first generation born here in Australia can’t relate to this, instead we have a different expectation, we haven’t had to endure hunger, extreme conditions or war.
Have you ever seen the gleaming smile of a migrant, the eyes full of eagerness and hope for the future ? It’s extremely humbling and helps put things back into perspective.
Even though we have not had to see the hardship many migrants have been delivered from, it’s extremely helpful if we can empathise and do a reality check from time to time.
I’ve found that even our parents generation could benefit from this, they seem to have forgotten how good they have it in many cases.

It’s the sense of hope and gratitude that drives people to do some amazing things. For example a migrant with very little English and minimal literacy will start a small business and endure all manner of opposition.
On the other hand a university graduate who was born and raised in Australia has little hope for the future, is afraid of starting a business despite the lack of any real barriers.

I encourage you to bring these things up in conversation with your parents or others in that generation, see what they have to say.
You could almost turn it into a debate, see what side they’re leaning on initially, and you take the other side to draw out their arguments.
It may seem strange at first when you talk this way with your parents, but just hang in there, it’s probably because you’ve never really connected at that level.
The stories that will begin to flow will definitely draw you closer and re-affirm just how fortunate we are here in Australia.

Most Macedonians born here in Australia are descendants of farming peasants, it may seem harsh to describe things this way, but this is the reality.
By ignoring your roots, and denying your heritage it’s like cutting off your right arm and convincing yourself that you have two arms.
Just like Australians don’t like being reminded of their convict heritage, so it is with us.
I brought this up with a very close friend once, indirectly just to gauge his reaction. His reaction was typical and fell into line with what I expected.
First there was anger, denial, then changing the subject altogether. I suspect this is how most of us would react when confronted in this way, including myself.

I’d like to argue that this last point about being uncomfortable with our heritage is one of the major things holding us back as a community.
It would be extremely useful to be reminded from time to time that although we are here in Australia today living in peace, our ancestors have endured much hardship.
History which should be reflected upon, even as recent as our parents upbringing and subsequent arrival to Australia.
We are not descendants of nobility or royalty with a family crest or coat of arms, although some in the community like to behave as through they are.
We are descendants of farming peasants who in most cases were illiterate, and at best town dwellers, a product of the communist ideals.
You may feel the same way my friend did after reading the above statement, and I can understand why, just keep reading and you’ll see my reasoning.

We do not appreciate freedom unless we have first experienced slavery or oppression, similarly we do not fully appreciate abundance unless we have done without.
Most importantly we do not appreciate grace (ie, being given a gift despite being most undeserving), unless we first accept and acknowledge we are undeserving.
It’s in our nature to lean towards feeling we deserve more out of life, or that we’ve earned what we have accumulated.
Changing the way you see your circumstances and how deserving you really are can go a long way towards becoming more appreciative and at the same time more sharing.
We laugh when we see toddlers chucking a tantrum over something they feel they deserve and is being withheld.
Now imagine yourself as that toddler when you feel you deserve some of these things;

- A BMW M3, just because you went to Uni
- A 4 Bedroom double story with large rumpus, study and double garage, just because your parents have 4 investment properties
- A job paying $160,000, just because it feels good to earn more than others
- A perfect family with one boy and one girl, just because it’s perfect and you deserve it
- A $10,000 tax refund, just because you hear others getting returns with certain tax agents
- A seat on the train, just because you paid your fare
- A 21st birthday party to end all 21st birthday parties

There are many more examples but you get the picture.
Start to see what you have as a gift rather than something you have earned, afterall you cannot even take your next breath without it being given to you.
So to summarise, the determining factor seems to be how appreciative we are of our circumstances.